School Superintendent Believes That Students Chucking Pond Stones Will Stop the Next Mass Shooting

Welcome to the most ultimate David vs. Goliath situation in the history of the fucking planet.  No, the fucking universe.  NO, THE FUCKING MULTIVERSE!!!!

A gunman, armed with an AR-15, plows into your children’s grade school with the hopes of mowing down as many kids as possible.  The only thing that is standing between your child living or having their limbs ripped apart in a massacre is a bucket full of pond stones.  The gunman comes into your child’s classroom, but the kids are ready because of the carnage and hell being unleashed by this madman.  So they run to the closet, and pull out a 5-gallon bucket of pond stones.  Yes.  Mother fucking pond stones.  And luckily, little Johnny from the baseball team and the rest of his classmates stand up and start flinging them at the shoot, striking him between the eyes, incapacitating the butcher to the point where they can wrestle him to the ground and stop the carnage.

In any other universe, this sounds like fantasy.  In Pennsylvania, this is the real life.  Well, if your Dr. David Heisel from Blue Mountain, this is the real life.  For everyone else, this is an insane fucking delusion.

You see, last week, the Pennsylvania House Education Committee held a three-hour marathon hearing on “school safety” and this is what this dipshit had to say.  Watch below.

Yes.  Instead of real gun reforms to prevent mass shootings, let’s bring Johnny out of the bullpen.

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About Sean Kitchen 681 Articles
Contributor and Assistant Editor for the Raging Chicken Press. Stationed in Harrisburg covering politics in the capitol. You can send tips to or reach me on twitter at @RCPress_Sean!
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